Anger is an emotion that we all experience. The emotion itself is not good or bad, but the effects it has on how we behave may be called into question. Anger is typically perceived negatively, as something to be avoided. We don’t go around wishing anger on others, y’know?
In his Rhetoric, Aristotle writes of anger:
ἔστω δὴ ὀργὴ ὄρεξις μετὰ λύπης τιμωρίας φαινομένης διὰ φαινομένην ὀλιγωρίαν εἰς αὐτὸν ἤ τι τῶν αὐτοῦ, τοῦ ὀλιγωρεῖν μὴ προσήκοντος. εἰ δὴ τοῦτ᾽ ἐστὶν ἡ ὀργή, ἀνάγκη τὸν ὀργιζόμενον ὀργίζεσθαι ἀεὶ τῶν καθ᾽ ἕκαστόν τινι, οἷον Κλέωνι ἀλλ᾽ οὐκ ἀνθρώπῳ, καὶ ὅτι αὑτὸν ἢ τῶν αὑτοῦ τί πεποίηκεν ἢ ἤμελλεν, καὶ πάσῃ ὀργῇ ἕπεσθαί τινα ἡδονήν, τὴν ἀπὸ τῆς ἐλπίδος τοῦ τιμωρήσασθαι: ἡδὺ μὲν γὰρ τὸ οἴεσθαι τεύξεσθαι ὧν ἐφίεται, οὐδεὶς δὲ τῶν φαινομένων ἀδυνάτων ἐφίεται αὑτῷ, ὁ δὲ ὀργιζόμενος ἐφίεται δυνατῶν αὑτῷ. διὸ καλῶς εἴρηται περὶ θυμοῦ: “ὅς τε πολὺ γλυκίων μέλιτος καταλειβομένοιο ἀνδρῶν ἐν στήθεσσιν ἀέξεται:” (Hom. Il. 18.109-110) ἀκολουθεῖ γὰρ καὶ ἡδονή τις διά τε τοῦτο καὶ διότι διατρίβουσιν ἐν τῷ τιμωρεῖσθαι τῇ διανοίᾳ: ἡ οὖν τότε γινομένη φαντασία ἡδονὴν ἐμποιεῖ, ὥσπερ ἡ τῶν ἐνυπνίων. Let us then define anger as a longing, accompanied by pain, for a real or apparent revenge for a real or apparent slight, affecting a man himself or one of his friends, when such a slight is undeserved. If this definition is correct, the angry man must always be angry with a particular individual (for instance, with Cleon, but not with men generally), and because this individual has done, or was on the point of doing, something against him or one of his friends; and lastly, anger is always accompanied by a certain pleasure, due to the hope of revenge to come. For it is pleasant to think that one will obtain what one aims at; now, no one aims at what is obviously impossible of attainment by him, and the angry man aims at what is possible for himself. Wherefore it has been well said of anger, that “Far sweeter than dripping honey down the throat it spreads in men's hearts.” (Hom. Il. 18.109-110) for it is accompanied by a certain pleasure, for this reason first, and also because men dwell upon the thought of revenge, and the vision that rises before us produces the same pleasure as one seen in dreams.
Although having been composed in the 4th century BCE, Aristotle’s thoughts on anger seem to hold some merit. For a more modern take, Neel Burton explains in Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions:
Anger can serve a number of useful, even vital, functions. It can put an end to a physical, psychological, or social threat, or, failing that, mobilize mental and bodily resources for aversive, defensive, or retaliatory action. If judiciously exercised, anger can enable a person to signal high social status, compete for rank and position, strengthen bargaining positions, ensure that contracts and promises are fulfilled, and even inspire desirable feelings such as respect and sympathy. A person who is able to express or exercise right anger is likely to feel better about himself, more in control, more optimistic, and more prone to the sort of risk-taking that maximizes outcomes. On the other hand, anger, and especially uncontrolled anger, can lead to loss of perspective and judgment, impulsive and irrational behaviour, and loss of face, sympathy, and social status. Thus, it appears that the sort of anger that is justified, controlled, strategic, and potentially adaptive ought to be distinguished from and contrasted with a second type of anger—let us call it ‘rage’—that is inappropriate, unjustified, unprocessed, irrational, undifferentiated, and uncontrolled. The function of rage is simply to protect the ego. It causes pain of one kind to detract from pain of another, and, unlike right anger, is not associated with pleasure.
All right. With that understanding of anger, I think most of us associate anger with the latter, the inappropriate kind. I get that these two authors are trying to offer a positive aspect to anger, but I think it has more to do with how someone reacts to, responds to, or handles anger, which may or may not be complex, depending on one’s disposition and circumstances.
So, if you agree that anger is undesirable, what can you do about it? By depersonalizing an emotion, you are seeing it for what it is and mistaking it less for who you are. Despite how real and how much a part of you an emotion may seem, it is not you.
Notice how an emotion feels. For instance, when anger arises, I feel it most in my heart, which begins to beat rapidly. From there, my breath becomes shallow and quick. My jaw tightens. I become less patient and less tolerant. Observing these changes creates space and decreases the likelihood of acting upon this anger. The focus shifts from being angry, which can cause the mind to make up stories that only exacerbate that particular emotion, to simply noting what is happening in that moment.
Meditation is the training ground that prepares you to be more rational in those heated moments. In her “Focus” course on Ten Percent Happier, Sharon Salzberg suggests asking yourself, “What is happening?” and not, “Why is this happening?” The idea behind meditation is to learn how to be with or to meet your emotions, not to analyze, suppress, silence, or disregard them.
In his book, Ten Percent Happier, Dan Harris shares:
The Buddha captured it well when he said that anger, which can be so seductive at first, has “a honeyed tip” but a “poisoned root.” It’s not that I never got annoyed anymore. In fact, when you’re mindful, you actually feel irritation more keenly. However, once you unburden yourself from the delusion that people are deliberately trying to screw you, it’s easier to stop getting carried away.
Now, there will be times when the emotion is all-consuming, and the better course of action would be to distance yourself from the trigger of your anger and distract yourself with something else, such as exercise or another activity. Yet, by noting and recalling what anger feels like within the body, as well as the mental disruption it may cause, you are already not succumbing to it. I can say with certainty that anger is something I would like to experience as little as possible. Burton continues to say that “. . . most of our actions and the neurological activity that they correspond to are determined by past events and the cumulative effects of those past events on our patterns of thinking.” And guess what? Those patterns can be changed but will require time and effort. With a consistent meditation practice, you may learn to let anger ride itself out, to minimize anger’s grip on the mind, and to become more rooted in soundness.
Passing time caring for critters.
Creating while they nap.
