Puccini’s passing has taught me to acknowledge loss and to feel all of the emotions that arise from it. In the past, I felt as though I had to get over those feelings quickly or, at the very least, put on a facade and keep my sadness hidden. Now, however, I understand that grief stays with you. It ebbs and flows and m…

I stayed in bed a little longer than usual until Cheddar, O.G., and Big Grey nudged me to get up. As I turned onto my left side and slowly pushed myself up, I glanced out the front window and noticed a hazy scene. I then rushed to the back window and saw a heavy mist enveloping everything. I could not even make out th…

I have been doing well the past few days, starting to feel normal but also feeling Puccini’s absence sans despair. Puccini’s viewing and cremation were scheduled for this morning, and I did not expect much. On the drive over at a red light, I saw a gray car with seafoam green rims and scant decals in the same hue driv…

I set a goal for myself to paint a portrait of Puccini. However, it has been furever since I really painted anything in a style that feels natural to me. I intend to paint a grand, magnificent portrait at some point, but for now I will paint a bunch of mediocre pieces to jumpstart my practice. I meant to do one painti…

So… I may have purchased some unnecessary-but-useful items because their colors reminded me of Puccini’s eyes. They were a feature that everyone noticed. Turquoise surrounded the pupils and spidered out into a light chartreuse. She was my world for eleven years. I like to think that I gave her a wonderful life. I hope…

I was physically tired by the time evening rolled around. I joined Kinrgy yesterday and did two classes this morning. It had been a long time since I have moved my body like that, so I felt that “good” muscle soreness soon afterwards. Tonight’s walk was short. My mind wandered, drifting into that space of daydreams, b…

Puccini’s DNA results from Wisdom Panel came in this morning. It was bittersweet because it would have been nice to review the results with her here, but it was still cool to learn a little more about her. Fun fact: eight (!) breeds were detected in her DNA! The internal medicine vet called and helped me understand mo…

Tonight, I took another jaunt around the neighborhood. I went earlier because rain was expected after seven o’clock. In the spirit of adventure and curiosity, I followed a different route through the developments behind us. I started to speed walk mindlessly until thoughts of Puccini reminded me to slow down, especial…

Yesterday, I felt guilty for not crying as much as I had been and for getting along as well as I have been. I finally shared Puccini’s passing with Tanya’s CKD Support Group. I had been avoiding the group for fear of being told that I messed up, essentially confirming that awful feeling that I have been carrying all w…

Two days after Puccini’s passing, I regained clarity and focus. A couple of months ago, I thought that I needed to press forward with my art in a different way. I started making changes with domains and site layouts, and then the site went completely stagnant. I cited stressful life events as excuses, but, really, I h…

Another walk through the neighborhood, later than yesterday’s jaunt. I had my phone this time. I thought of Puccini again and her recent obsession with windows. Then, I remembered that she had been on the streets before she was found. Who knows for how long? I imagined her walking down the lane, low to the ground, clo…

I was having an okay day until I received several emails from Healthy Paws, notifications that they had completed any open claims. The automated messages on the later ones were altered to express their condolences after seeing that Puccini had been euthanized, and they informed me that they canceled Puccini’s policy. …

Lucky was being Lucky… until he started acting a little differently. We did not notice a drastic change in his personality. Looking back, yes, he was more of a cuddlebug, but it did not seem out of the ordinary. Especially with the cooler temps, everyone was snuggling more. He also presented with noisy breathing, whic…

Does Princess Puccini approve of the change? Elevator butt. It’s real. High-walled plastic tubs that are marketed as litter boxes exist, but they have a price tag that is just as steep. If you are confident in your knife-handling skills, then a DIY route may be for you! The previous litter box. One of the cats (who ma…